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Chapter 6.

It’s easily resolved.

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When I think of how time is affecting me, I tend to find solace in knowing that I am still quite young. I may not be a teenager anymore, but I’m still in my youth. I have plenty of time to make a fair number of mistakes. Usually I try not to dwell on the thought that I may lead a life of bitter disappointment. I still have my virginity and after hitting two decades I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps I’m unattractive. Not really my fault. My genes are outside of my control. Can’t really help that I have poor eyesight and previously had bad teeth. Braces and glasses weren’t the best look for me. Maybe shaving my head wasn’t the best idea either, as most women don’t find a lack of hair too appealing. Who knew?

Please don’t think that I have a self esteem issue. I’m actually quite comfortable with my body. I may not be in the greatest shape for my age, but damn it I’m trying. As much as it kills me, I make the attempt to get out of my extremely comfortable mattress at a reasonable time. Maybe if they stopped making them so damn cozy I could get my life in order. I find it odd that so few actually care about what happens when they spend over a third of their life sleeping. I’ve kept a dream journal before, and while it hasn’t really affected my life that much, I find it a rather helpful distraction to flip through sometimes.

Speaking of distractions, have you ever found yourself in a strange predicament that was sparked by boredom? Usually it starts with listening to “Lollipop” by the Chordettes and it typically ends with me spending a few hours loosing myself down the Internet rabbit hole. I never consider myself a musical person, but I tend to jam out to my favorites and somehow I end up hurting myself in dance.

Reading is also quite the distraction for me. Some books are meant for fun, yet I know that I take too long over-analyzing minuscule details that serve no true purpose. The same effect can be found when I’m writing. I spend far too long lingering on the choice in font or the correct form of sentence structure that I end up wasting the need for such practices. My writing is usually awful, so I move on and keep going in a never-ending need to continue my work.

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