Sunday, February 26th, 2017

I often find it difficult to contextualize my existence. When pondering the nature of the universe, I tend to become distracted by the small details that make up my life. Odd quirks in my daily routine allow me to find a strange joy in the mundane. The difficult processes that encompass my personal projects offer insight into my lunacy. They tend to adjust themselves into a workable solution, but there is no real solution for a typical problem I face: Unhappiness.

While there’s a slew of medication that could help alleviate this problem, I fear the possibility of becoming addicted or reliant on them to cope with my constant anxiety. I find support in others or through catchy music, but there is a bizarre grayness that is beginning to shape my personality. For the past few months I’ve begun taking long walks and shutting myself off from others. While I maintain a moderate form of interaction, there is a disconnect that I’m seeing within my friend group. It’s not that I’ve lost the connections entirely, but more that I have less in common with them than before.

The usual form of interactions were based primarily on school life, and with me working constantly, there is now less interaction that takes place. I rarely see my roommates now, and I figure that changes things regarding our relationship. There is no doubt that the string of individuals that usually inhabit our apartment are good friends, but there is an odd wedge between conversations now. I can only work with what I’m given, but I worry that these interactions will end with me leaving within the next year.

On an unrelated note, I’ve been furthering my research into additional types of computation. This led to interesting topics like the Gödel machine and some other exponential technologies. Several strings and search queries later and I found myself fascinated with the topic of Meta-learning, which focuses with experience based improvement. You can read more about this topic here. I have to cut this entry a bit short as I need to get ready for a shift to work at 6 PM. I’ll publish a more in-depth post tomorrow.